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Long term relationships and it's effects.

K

k_21

New member
pistachio said:
seriously, chocolate filled choc chip cookies?! who comes up with this stuff, willy wonka? *drools*



lol, i'm not sure about that, but it certainly applies to going clubbing!!
Click to expand...

Gentlemen & ladies,

I'm using the above quote as a segway to my story.

I'm dealing with this right now. No not the eating choc chip
cookies...more eating the female version. :eek:

I feel like my wife and I have lost the spark and it's
been this way for too long. We've been married for 8yrs
and been together for at least another 6yrs. Never cheated
or anything (neither she nor me).

However, lately I have this uncontrollable urge to meet and
date other women (yes I see cute gals EVERYWHERE these
days).

Anyway, the only thing keeping me is b/c I am married and I
absolutely don't believe in cheating.

WTF is going on with me??? :eek:

Has anyone been in this situation? (guys & gals).

Opinions welcome.

Thanks
Devante.
 
its time to find a way to reignite that spark. i know a lot of ppl in your situation would probably just divorce and go seperate ways but im a big believer in sorting out problems and making a marraige work, (btw i am single, lol) i just go by what ive been taight and like my parents, uncles and so on.
they have all been through stages of this, from what i get told is that thye found a way to reinvent the spark, remember what brought them together in the first place.. dont give up, search for a way. both have to be willing to do so though
 
You just got accustomed to eacher other...

It will happen with any one.

Relationship is like a car it needs servicing and sometimes an engine rebuild to be what it once was and better..

Point is you both need to work on it but it can and will be done if you both want it.
Posted via Mobile Device
 
To be quite honest... I really think it's normal. Be with anyone for long enough and the spark dies. If we're talking sexually, I think 90% of the time, no matter how attracted you are initially to one another.. this will fade in time. Which is why I think it's important to have someone you connect with in other aspects of life (humor, share similar tastes etc).

Edit: bit about mate


Are the feelings mutual?
 
Last edited:
Minchia, what you have said is so true, after being with someone for a long time you do lose the spark. I have been with my partner 7 years now. 2 kids, work, uni, just busy bloody life makes it hard, so I know how you feel. I cant remember the last time we had time to ourselves without the kids around and its these sort of things that get you back in touch with each other and make you both realise why you are together.
Is it the fact that your not getting any jig jig at home or are you bored with it mate? Do you still get along with the missus and have a chat with her every now and then?
 
Get a devorce allready

married men with and without children have significantly lower testosterone levels than unmarried ones and the more time a man spends with his wife and children, the lower his testosterone level (Psychoneuroendocrinology, Volume 29, 2004). A man's testosterone levels drop significantly when he holds an infant. Testosterone begins to decline shortly after marriage, but surges upward when unions end in divorce. High levels of testosterone cause men to fight and mate. Lower levels of testosterone may keep men home to care for their wives and children.
Click to expand...
 
That's why Christians believe (I'm not a Christian a good friend of mine told me this) until no sex until marriage. Ever had that girl obsess over you until this day because you gave her her first orgasim or you were her first... They never give up.. The old days had a better success rate because the partners only knew each other in that way. Our society is forcing children to grow up quicker then ever and this is now a byproduct of it.

Plan a trip with your wife. Leave the kids someone and just drive. Don't have a plan... Wind up in Byron Bay and stay in a nice lazy villa they have and relax through the day and sexy time at night! Don't even tell you wife about it just make sure she has the time off work and tell her to pack her bags.

Adventure spices things up
Posted via Mobile Device
 
I agree... If cake didn't exist you wouldn't know what you are missing out on.

You need to realize after the spark seems to die that your partner loves you that much they show you a side they wouldn't of let you seen when you first were courting.. Because she loves you and feels safe with you.


Remember other girls are showing you the side they want you to see.. So of course the constantly bubbly happy flirty girl seems better then your " this bills overdue bob'!" wife/ partner...

But that's life and it will always be the same.
Posted via Mobile Device
 
That initial spark may die, but trust and intimacy build over years, and that's something worth having. Find ways to reignite the spark, but also remember that it's not the be all and end all.

My 2c.
 
Gaucheharbor said:
That's why Christians believe (I'm not a Christian a good friend of mine told me this) until no sex until marriage. Ever had that girl obsess over you until this day because you gave her her first orgasim or you were her first... They never give up.. The old days had a better success rate because the partners only knew each other in that way. Our society is forcing children to grow up quicker then ever and this is now a byproduct of it.
Click to expand...

Can't agree with that, success rates (if you can call it that) in the old days were because divorce wasn't an option - you just put up with your lot in life.

The biggest problem we have is a society with the attention span of a gnat, a general lack of communication skills and a throw-away mentality.
 
marriage is some thing you have to really work at , it is forty years for us and you have your ups and downs every one does , but if you love the person you are with stay with it as your partner is also your best friend not only your lover , it is really nice growing old together .
 
I agree with most that has been said.

You will always end up in the same boat (no matter who the woman) and in the end possibly upset as you are lonely, quite often later in life married couples are their happiest!

You can have the best steak in town but sometimes you might feel like a good crappy pizza.

Each party needs to make an effort, tell her you love here several times a day, be spontaneous send a txt every now and again, a kiss every morning and night, make time for both of you.

Enjoy
 
k_21 said:
Gentlemen & ladies,

I'm using the above quote as a segway to my story.

I'm dealing with this right now. No not the eating choc chip
cookies...more eating the female version. :eek:

I feel like my wife and I have lost the spark and it's
been this way for too long. We've been married for 8yrs
and been together for at least another 6yrs. Never cheated
or anything (neither she nor me).

However, lately I have this uncontrollable urge to meet and
date other women (yes I see cute gals EVERYWHERE these
days).

Anyway, the only thing keeping me is b/c I am married and I
absolutely don't believe in cheating.

WTF is going on with me??? :eek:

Has anyone been in this situation? (guys & gals).

Opinions welcome.

Thanks
Devante.
Click to expand...

Nice segway lol.

All i can say on this is that it is VERY hard to find that special person. And when you do, it isn't worth losing them for a bit of tail..

I pretty much agree with what everyone else has said
 
Grippy said:
Minchia, what you have said is so true, after being with someone for a long time you do lose the spark. I have been with my partner 7 years now. 2 kids, work, uni, just busy bloody life makes it hard, so I know how you feel. I cant remember the last time we had time to ourselves without the kids around and its these sort of things that get you back in touch with each other and make you both realise why you are together.
Is it the fact that your not getting any jig jig at home or are you bored with it mate? Do you still get along with the missus and have a chat with her every now and then?
Click to expand...


Oh, wasn't talking specifically about me. Mine is still in infancy (2.5 yrs) just talking off many other examples i've come across through my years. Seems to be the general consensus, and makes sense given the society we live in today!
 
SB's right. Been going out with a girl for maybe 3 weeks? (I know this is not even close to a long term relationship) But I'm bored as f u ck already. Gotta try and get out of it somehow without mega repercussions. Good luck devante.
 
Fuck Gareer it has been 3 weeks just say Sorry tell her the truth and walk away. Or if she is a crazy lady run like hell and wear a bullet proof vest.
 
Bit more complicated than I'd like Dave, second time she's ever been with a guy (oops) gotta stop thinking with my dick. And I'm thinking vest and cup at this point in time.
 
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