lol
You're right coaltrain, plenty of men wrought the system too and do exactly what you've outlined above.
See, to me, sometimes when people breakup - it becomes emotional warfare, rather than keeping the children's best interests at the centre of any dealings. Breakups can be bitter and nasty and people say and threaten awful things to eachother.
Like my ex told me if I ever left him - he'd steal my daughter and take her to the middle east somewhere and hide with her and I'd never see her again. He threatened that more than once too.
So when I left?
I had one suitcase and my baby. And I flew home.
He got everything, the house, the bank accounts, the contents of our 11 years of life together. Every thing, every penny, all of it.
As far as I'm concerned, a very small price to pay - for peace? lol
I have never fought him for anything. I don't want anything from him. He pays child support when he feels like it. Sometimes I won't get any help for months on end...
It just depends whether you want to fight or not?
I don't want to invest the time or energy in fighting him - so I choose to raise my daughter without his help, financial or otherwise.
He chose to allow me to leave, on the condition he got all of our 'stuff'.
So now? He finds himself living in the middle east - 47 years of age, with a new muslim bride who just turned 19 and his life is peachy? lol
But damnit, I admit. I miss my pots and pans...they were good ones!
Sometimes, you got to step back and assess whether something is worth it. Your kids, are always worth it. Always.
Women and men are as vindictive of eachother.
Some women fight dirty and get lawyers who will fight dirty on their behalf.
Men steal the kids. Commit acts of murder to hurt their ex. Or throw themselves and their children from bridges in broad daylight out of desperation and malice.
It's all a sign, that our system is broken. When despair and disillusionment is that deep....that people will commit acts of such atrocity...just to bring pain to another person?
Incredibly and deeply sad.