lmao Goo....you'll have many people VERY worried with that response.
DKD, I asked you this last night, because I was curious for a man's perspective.
Goo's right I think, in the sense that if you want to 'cheat' something is not right in the relationship. But should you end it?
What if it's just the sex, that's lacking?
What if it's just the intimacy that you struggle sustaining?
Is that enough, to walk away from years with the person you've been with? And maybe that person, is still someone you love, very much?
It's a curious thing to me.
And I suppose very individual to circumstance etc...
I have had these discussions with friends many times, some have cheated, some have thought about it, some would still like to lol Some are staunch advocates that they would never cheat, but remain miserable in their current relationships...
I even had a male friend say to me not too long ago, that men always cheat, for the sex.
Which I don't believe is entirely true.
My opinion on the matter? I had a 'no married man' rule, for...well forever. I seem to be a magnet for married or attached men.
I met one guy out 2 years ago in a pub, he was handsome, athletic, great smile - he spent two hours chatting me up, asked for my number, which I gave him and then went onto say "Oh I better get going, the wife will kill me if I'm not awake in time to take my boy to soccer practice"
We're still in touch, 2 years later. In fact he comes to me often, for massages and we're JUST friends. I made it very clear that I would never go there with him. But he asks constantly for it to be more. He begs me, on some occasions - which I find amusing more than anything else.
But can still look me in the eye, and say he loves his wife and family, would never leave her, but needs to be sexually fulfilled by someone with as voracious a sexual appetite as his?
His 'ideal', he has said, would be to find a mistress - so he can have both women, whenever he wants, needs or requires them - for different purposes.
I find it fascinating, to be truthful.
And I suppose it's all dependant on our own moral compass's....given experiences and upbringing etc...
Have I ever cheated? No. I've always been an advocate of ending one relationship before commencing another.
Have I thought about cheating? Oh yes. With my daughters father. Absolutely. Until I did a bit of self reflection and realised that it wasn't just 'the lack of sex' that was our issue - alot of things were broken, that I couldn't fix on my own. I came to the realisation fairly quickly, that me having an 'affair' would just add to the bullshit our lives together had already become?
I wasn't going to be that person.
But then again, I have friends who have cheated. Who are not ashamed to say so. Some have even fallen in love, in the process and left previous partners to be with the one they started cheating on them with.
It's an interesting topic....I don't really have any clear or staunch beliefs in this respect anymore.
I think it's a very individual thing that comes down to circumstance and the reasons why?
But I am curious to hear other people's opinions and experiences...