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Cheating. Is it Ever Ok?

BellaBaby75 said:
Someone on this forum (I think it may have been Relevant) once said that being and staying in a relationship, is a conscious choice and decision you make every single day.

And that, I can say with absolute certainty - is the truth.
Click to expand...
Yep, So true.

And, while it might strike some people as simplistic, maybe, I strongly believe that the right thing to do is to choose one or the other. At any given time in life, that is. In other words, if you're in a relationship, do that thing - or be in the least bit honourable and break up first, if you intend to screw around. Alternatively, if you're screwing around (perfectly valid lifestyle choice, don't get me wrong ), do that thing, and don't try to insist on relationship stuff being in the mix - it won't work.

It's particularly dishonourable and shitty to betray the confidence of anyone close to you. IMO. Sure, the world keeps turning, life goes on, but I think it does matter. *shrug*
 
Shrek said:
Can't some one just want a fuck. Why does it mean he or she is insecure.
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Can't they get it from the relationship??

If a girl (in particular) is getting all the mindblowing sex she needs for a relationship, it is insecurity, pure and simple.
 
Ohhhh I want to root another girl because I think she's hot, gee I'm insecure.

Lol what rubbish. Maybe your morals are screwed but it does not make you insecure.

Fuck me.
 
I don't agree that it's insecurity.

I think there's more to it, than that.

McKwl - good post! Thanks for your input

I agree. And I used to have pretty staunch views in this respect. But watching friends relationships and family relationships....I have realised that life is definitely not black and white - it has varying shades of grey.

We all make choices. Whether it's to be in the relationship we're in. To cheat. To perve. To kiss someone else. To flirt. To not put the toilet seat up or down. To love with your partner or to fight with them. The partner also has choices, to deny their husband/wife, to not care about the lack of intimacy, to not be prepared to change a situation that is obviously not satisfying or fulfilling for their partner?

I think, to imagine, we know anyone's personal situation and judge that, is a bit narrowminded. And I can only say that, because I think I was quite narrowminded in this respect, for many years.

Some people, and there are MANY of them - just believe 'sex is just sex' - the end.

They don't see it as cheating on the emotional investment they have with their partner at all?

Personally, I don't understand it. But I'm not about to judge them for it.

Life is grey matter.

Keeps it moving AND interesting
 
Last edited:
k_21 said:
2. Ppl who cheat are 'insecure' within themselves.
Click to expand...


LOL....this doesnt even make sense....

An insecure person will not go out and find another person to fuck...they will stay home, in a corner, being a lil yes bitch to there gf or bf lol
 
Shrek said:
Ohhhh I want to root another girl because I think she's hot, gee I'm insecure.

Lol what rubbish. Maybe your morals are screwed but it does not make you insecure.

Fuck me.
Click to expand...

Read my post before commenting like that shrek.

I said GIRLS.

Sure, some guys are fuckwits who sleep around, but GENERALLY (yes it is a generalisation, so sue me), girls don't feel the need to sleep with other guys, it is an emotional connection. Except for the very few relationships out there where the girl is a nympho and the guy is a complete dud, then they might say they just want to root another guy.

Fuck me
 
Shrek said:
Can't some one just want a fuck. Why does it mean he or she is insecure.
Click to expand...

Of course they can mate.. but what I'm saying/asking
is to act on that feeling requires the person to break
their own 'self governing rules'.... and many times before
the actual act.

For example if the person is in a relationship and have
committed to being faithful with the other.

To cheat on that person to me fundamentally says
that they are insure within themselves to:

1. Not be honest with the other person and say they
want to have an open relationship. Then accept the
other parties feedback.

2. Needing validation to be with one person and sleep
with others.

3. Having such a 'fragile ego' to think that sleeping around
may answer and/or give them 'happiness' or some other missing
element to their life.

4. Not having the confidence to be single.

Unless this person is a 'Nymph' - which is only a very minor
percentage I would think.

Comments?

Devante.
 
When it comes down to it ppl cheat coz they dont really like/love the person they are with...even if they cant admit it or see that....

Theres no other reason behind it....

If you dont like something you look for something better....its human nature...
 

Ding Ding... As I said Honesty. .

Shrek said:
Ohhhh I want to root another girl because I think she's hot, gee I'm insecure.

Lol what rubbish. Maybe your morals are screwed but it does not make you insecure.

Fuck me.
Click to expand...

OK let's call it validation seeking then Shrek. You agree?
 
masturbation is only acceptable if it's done for my viewing pleasure?
lol

when you hide in the bathroom, and do it....that's cheating
lololololol
 
Let's face it, when it comes to cheating people will always have differing views on what is and what isn't. I guess it is what you feel is right or wrong within yourself.

However the question in the topic was it is ok to cheat. Well I guess we better define cheating first.

Is it ok to have sex?
Is it ok kiss?
Is it ok to have phone or email relations?
Is it ok to perve?
Is it ok to watch porn?
Is it ok to go out for a meal of coffee?

See my point, at what stage is it cheating?
Some might say watching porn is, some might not.
 
Id say the general idea of cheating is anything from kissing to sex (and anything in between)

As you said some ppl are diff and have more extreme views on cheating or are alot more laid back with what there partner does...

But id say what I said above is the "general" idea of what ppl consider cheating is....
 
Well I allow my partner to have a coffe with male friends because I am SECURE that she will behave.
 
Heres another Q (dunno if its been covered or not yet) - if you found out your partner was cheating and they wanted to stop and be with you...would u go back to them?

Whats happens if they had just kissed someone in a drunken night out....
 
I think we can all agree that sexual intercourse, definitely consitutes cheating?

But Shrek is right. When I speak about this with my friends and family. Some feel kissing is cheating, some feel that a drunken kiss is ok?
Some think outrageous flirting is a form of cheating - others feel it's harmless fun?
Some think constant perving is seriously disrespectful - others feel it's healthy and acceptable.
Some would find an email or online friendship/flirtation a form of cheating, others would think it's just stupid fun?

It's because WE are all different, that we have different perspectives on these things.

I have a whole host of friends, of mixed gender who would consider a drunken one night stand with a random person - a mere slip up. Who define cheating as some kind of emotional investment, therefore the physical act itself, shouldn't matter - if that's all it was?

My very best friend and we've been friends for 25 years now - had sex with an ex-boyfriend the night before she got married. I remember watching her take her vows on her wedding day and feeling SO angry with her.

Her explanation was to laugh and say "Jo, it's only sex. No big deal. It wasn't like I loved him or anything"

So I had to learn, to not judge, to not feel mad and to not impose my beliefs on others. Everybody has a different perspective.

My best friend has been married for over 15 years now. They are very happy, with two beautiful children. Although her hubby, who is a sensational human being complains constantly about not getting enough sex. lolol Which I find ironic, all these years later....

It's beyond interesting.

Shades of grey indeed.
 
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