• Keep up to date with Ausbb via Twitter and Facebook. Please add us!
  • Join the Ausbb - Australian BodyBuilding forum

    If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.

    The Ausbb - Australian BodyBuilding forum is dedicated to no nonsense muscle and strength building. If you need advice that works, you have come to the right place. This forum focuses on building strength and muscle using the basics. You will also find that the Ausbb- Australian Bodybuilding Forum stresses encouragement and respect. Trolls and name calling are not allowed here. No matter what your personal goals are, you will be given effective advice that produces results.

    Please consider registering. It takes 30 seconds, and will allow you to get the most out of the forum.
J

joshc

Guest
Oh boy fellas. Where do I start.

I was posting in here a while back under jmc123.

Long story short. I met the love of my life (or so I thought) back in August 2014. We dated seriously for several months before getting engaged in December that same year. It just felt right. I knew I loved her and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

She insisted that I move in with her. I had just bought my own place so I ended up renting that out.

We hardly ever fought. She and I just had a great connection.

Unfortunately, however, I started a new job in emergency services last year and the five month training was brutal. I was stressed and anxious most of the time. She noticed this and just reasoned to herself that I was just being this way because it was actually stressful and it would come to an end when I started the job for real. It didnt. She quickly worked out that I was anxiety ridden, stressed and generally on a 'downer' most of the time.

When I came home from work in September/October 2015 she told me that she didnt think it was going to work between us because she and I are too different. She is a glass half full and, for the most part, I am a glass half empty. We managed to talk it through and stayed together.

Then I injured my shoulder at work and instead of obsessing about my back, I started talking incessantly about my shoulder. This pretty much confirmed my general state of mind for her and she became anxious and dubious about the relationship again. We went to Vietnam on a holiday in December and ended up having the same conversation about the same thing.

When we returned to Melbourne we saw a relationship counsellor twice. The first time was great but the second session just two weeks later wasnt. I had to go back to work after about 40 minutes into the session. I messaged her after that and she said she was leaving work early to go home.

When I got home she said she was breaking up with me because it was the only way I would ever learn.

It may seem sudden but in reality this has been an issue for months. I just didnt fix it.

I realise that a break is probably for the best so I can work on myself and my own issues. I've explained all this to her and she understands that I finally 'get it'. I've asked whether or not there is a chance we could reconcile or just get together after a few months to see where things are at and she has generally been very uncommittal. Doesnt give away much at all. I know she still loves me because she is visibly upset. And she did say that maybe we can catch up on the day we met in 2014 (August 10) but I'm not pinning my hopes on this.

We've been talking a lot the last 24 hours. I'm still living there but sleeping in the second bedroom. I will be moving out tomorrow night. We are both heartbroken. There was so much good in this r'ship. Unfortunately, I neglected her. Zoned out a lot and complained about my various pains. I regret this so much because I feel like (for now) I've lost the love of my life. She means everything to me.

Would appreciate some input. I'll be moving out regardless but I just pray this isnt goodbye forever. I'm absolutely heartbroken. I need to change to be a more positive person for myself but I would be lying if I said I wasnt doing it to have her in my life. Last night when we were talking and laughing I thought to myself "this is absolutely insane. You dont find relationships like this every day. We are throwing it all away"
 
Last edited:

Johnnie Walker

Borderline Kunce
similar to me and my ex.

the sad reality is that when you fall in love you still dont really know a person. its foolish to rush into it, but hey we have all done it
 

Grunta

Packing a Huge Member
Sorry to hear that jmc, I'm not much chop on sensible advice at the moment, in a bit of mess myself.
 
I think most of us go through this at some point or another, some just keep failing, some learn.
go out and meet a lot of people and don't obsess about gym.

just get a life and be yourself.
 
J

joshc

Guest
How old are you josh.

40. I want to ask her if she REALLY wants this because I believe a part of her doesnt. I could be wrong. I seem to be torturing myself. We had something so awesome. And she knows it.
 
40. I want to ask her if she REALLY wants this because I believe a part of her doesnt. I could be wrong. I seem to be torturing myself. We had something so awesome. And she knows it.


Move on bud, it's over, put it down to experience you're one step closer to your goal.
 

Firey1

New member
Interesting you should say that. At the end of my last rship and the start of this one, I actualy thought I was closer
 
Interesting you should say that. At the end of my last rship and the start of this one, I actualy thought I was closer

I think eventually we just get comfortable in our own skin, for some it just happens real quick, while for others it takes maturity and errors in judgment.
sort of like bodybiulding.

of course there are some that just don't get it.
 
If I recall correctly Josh, you jumped from one relationship straight into another.
From my experience mate, when the woman ends the relationship, it's all over red rover as much as you want to believe otherwise.
Move on, try and learn from it and this time take the time to sort yourself out because sometimes we're at our best when we're on our own.
 
Last edited:

White_Lie

Look at Moi, I'm a Kunce
You bumped your own thread 4 or so hours after starting it? What do you want us to say mate? Are you looking for sympathy or someone to say it's all going to be ok? You're on a bodybuilding forum, not a stay at home mum's forum.... Move on.
 

Shrek

Fucked up Kunce
I just want to know why you keep creating new accounts every time you come back? This is 3 or 4 now?
 

steveP

New member
Based on what you're describing, she's holding all the cards at the moment. So one thing is a certainty; if you bum rush her and try to immediately fix the relationship, that will push her away and the book is closed. The only thing that may work is to actually move on and find things that make you happy. If she sees you as someone grown up and mature about the situation, that can sometimes sway them.

But I think it's pretty clear things aren't working. Time heals all. Just find other hobbies for a while.
 
Last edited:

Firey1

New member
Yes I agree. What's odd is that we are totally getting on like no ones business. Talking about all things like
We are best mates. She said we will catch up again in 6 months and see where things are at. If the feelings are there
And I've resolved my issues we may get back but who knows. It's a bizarre situation. We both love each other and
clearly we have a connection but I'm damaged goods right now. Neither of us are interested in dating. She's busy with
writing her next novel and I'm busy trying to cure myself of deep ridden anxieties. I've had breakups that were far worse
In terms of screaming and really ugly behaviour. Couldn't be more different here. Lots of love and mutual respect.
 
Top